Tao Te What Now? (Chapters 4-6)
A slightly unhinged walkthrough of the Tao Te Ching
So you’ve decided to read the Tao Te Ching.
Either you’re seeking peace, chasing enlightenment, trying to out-vibe your therapist, or you just like obscure philosophy that makes you feel smart and dumb at the same time.
Good news: you’re in the right place.
Bad news: it won’t help you get your life together in the way you think it will.
Better news: it might show you that you never had to in the first place.
This ancient Chinese text, written by Laozi around 2,500 years ago, is basically a poetic mic drop about the nature of reality, control, ego, and why trying hard often makes things worse. It’s short, mysterious, non-linear, and aggressively subtle. You won’t get it all on the first read. That’s part of the charm. It’s also part of the test. Which you are not supposed to try to pass.
About This “Cursed” Interpretation
We’re going to go through each chapter, one by one.
Instead of solemn chanting or incense or “sitting with it in silence,”
We’re going to translate it for actual humans with internet-fried brains, executive dysfunction, and a fondness for sarcasm.
Disclaimers:
We love the Tao. We also enjoy poking fun at ourselves while getting deep. That’s the spirit this was written in.
If you're looking for academic accuracy or lineage-specific devotion… this isn’t that.
If you're spiritually curious, allergic to self-serious gurus, and suspicious of people who wear too much linen—welcome home.
Chapter 4
The Infinite Void That Somehow Gets Stuff Done
The Tao is like a bottomless well.
You can draw from it forever.
It never runs out, never asks for credit, never posts about "grind culture."
It’s also like empty space.
Looks like nothing.
Spoiler: it's everything.
It’s the behind-the-scenes developer of reality. No UI. No patch notes.
Just quietly shipping updates to the universe while you argue with yourself in the shower.
It hides in plain sight.
Doesn’t perform. Doesn’t brand. Doesn’t hustle.
Just vibes.
Like the coworker who fixes everything and then disappears into the break room mist. (Probably an ancient deity. Definitely drinks lukewarm tea. )
And where did it come from?
No one knows. Not even the Tao.
It’s older than time, truth, and the concept of “concepts.” You can’t trace it back because it is the back. And the front. And also outside the metaphor entirely.
tl; dr; The Tao is endless, invisible, and quietly powering everything—like cosmic Wi-Fi—only older than God and way less needy.
Chapter 5
The Tao Is Not Here to Validate Your Moral Superiority
The Tao doesn’t pick favorites. It’s not rooting for Team Good or Team Evil as it made both, and is weirdly chill about it.
The wise person doesn’t do cancel culture. She’s open to the Mother Theresa and MMA types alike. She loves those neigborhood kids who snatched all the Hallowe’en candy off the front porch last year, and that one person you know who definitely shouldn’t be in charge of the playlist at parties.
The Tao is like Wi-Fi.
You can’t see it.
It seems like “nothing.”
But it connects everything.
The more you rely on it without trying to mess with it, the better it works.
Try to “force” it (like standing on a chair with tinfoil on your head)? Yeah, good luck.
And if you try to explain how it really works in detail, you’ll either sound like a conspiracy theorist, or end up in a 45-minute YouTube rabbit hole about routers.
If life were a scoreboard of righteousness, The Tao would unplug it, lean over the railing, and hand you a thermos. Then it would nod toward the field and say:
“Just play. Love the other players. Stop checking the score. It’s not about who’s winning, it never was.”
Because in Tao terms:
The game was never meant to be won.
The “good” team and the “bad” team are wearing the same jerseys under different lighting. (blue and black jerseys, or are they white and gold?)
The Tao made both teams. It’s the field, the wind, the rules, and the silence after the final whistle.
tl; dr; The Tao isn’t judging—it's just creating. Talk less, center yourself in every way, and let the infinite breath do its thing.
Chapter 6
Infinite Cool Mom Energy
The Tao is the Great Mother, completely empty, yet endlessly creative.
She's like a cosmic womb that never clocks out. Infinite snacks.
She gave birth to literally everything and still makes space for more, without needing credit or applause.
She’s not off in some sacred cloud server.
She’s already inside you. Right now. Like a secret power bank you forgot you were plugged into.
And the kicker?
You can use it however you want.
No passwords. No fine print. No scrolling to the bottom so you can click "Next”
No…cursed 2 week trial period for a food delivery service that you have to actually call someone to cancel.
She’s just... there. Waiting.
tl;dr; The Tao is the ultimate creative source. Quiet, ever-present, and chill with you using it however you want (even if it’s for making banana bread or questioning your entire existence).
