Tao Te What Now? (Chapters 13-15)
A slightly unhinged walkthrough of the Tao Te Ching
So you’ve decided to read the Tao Te Ching.
Either you’re seeking peace, chasing enlightenment, trying to out-vibe your therapist, or you just like obscure philosophy that makes you feel smart and dumb at the same time.
Good news: you’re in the right place.
Bad news: it won’t help you get your life together in the way you think it will.
Better news: it might show you that you never had to in the first place.
This ancient Chinese text, written by Laozi around 2,500 years ago, is basically a poetic mic drop about the nature of reality, control, ego, and why trying hard often makes things worse. It’s short, mysterious, non-linear, and aggressively subtle. You won’t get it all on the first read. That’s part of the charm. It’s also part of the test. Which you are not supposed to try to pass.
About This “Cursed” Interpretation
We’re going to go through each chapter, one by one.
Instead of solemn chanting or incense or “sitting with it in silence,”
We’re going to translate it for actual humans with internet-fried brains, executive dysfunction, and a fondness for sarcasm.
Disclaimers:
We love the Tao. We also enjoy poking fun at ourselves while getting deep. That’s the spirit this was written in.
If you're looking for academic accuracy or lineage-specific devotion… this isn’t that.
If you're spiritually curious, allergic to self-serious gurus, and suspicious of people who wear too much linen—welcome home.
Chapter 13
Hope Is Just Fear with Rizz
Success? Dangerous.
Failure? Also dangerous.
Hear me out..
Going up the ladder? Further to fall. Anxiety rises.
Going down the ladder? “I wanted to be higher”… anxiety rises.
You want to feel solid in life. Keep both feet on the ground.
Hope and fear are both sharks circling your ego.
When we see our thoughts as what they are (just abstract/imaginary things that arise and disappear in our brain).
When you recognize that we are not our thoughts, What do we have to fear?
This can be a hard one to grasp but is fundamental to all of this. Meditation is a good way to experiment with this concept. If you think you are in control of your thoughts. I recommend you try closing your eyes in a comfy place and “not think”. See how long you can go for. Let me know how you do!
Once you drop the “me”? Drop the fear. Drop the craving. Suddenly life stops being a popularity contest with God.
So what now?
See the world as not separate from you.
Trust it like you trust gravity.
Love it like it is you. (Which it kind of is.)
That’s how you care for all things:
By realizing they were never "other" to begin with.
TL;DR: If you’re riding high or spiraling low, you’re still stuck in me-mode. Step off the ladder. Drop the story. Be ground. Be world. Care from there.
Chapter 14
You Can’t See It, Touch It, or Explain It. So Obviously You Should Totally Trust It
Look for it? Can’t see it.
Listen? Nada.
Reach out? Nice try, idiot.
It’s the cosmic version of someone ghosting you for your own good.
Above? Not light.
Below? Not dark.
Just a vibe. No edges. No label. No user manual.
It’s form without a form,
an image that refuses to load,
a concept that yeets itself into the void every time you get close.
You can’t catch it.
You can’t track it.
You can’t understand it with your mind.
But you can be it. (Yeah. That wasn’t in the brochure, was it?)
Just… settle into yourself. Ease back into the weird unknowable flow.
Remember where you came from... no before that.. deeper.. the “before-you-had-a-name” place.
That’s wisdom.
Not facts. Not quotes. Not an unhinged Substack interpretation…
Just quiet, anchored presence in a universe that refuses to give you the last page.
tl; dr; Stop chasing the mystery. You are the fog.
You don’t need to figure it out—you just need to stop pretending you’re separate from it.
Chapter 15
Move Like You're on Ice, Wait Like You're Not Chronically Online
The ancient Masters were deep. Like, bottomless well of vibes deep.
No one could explain them, so people just described their aesthetic instead.
How did they move?
Like someone crossing a sketchy frozen river in dress shoes.
Like a guest trying not to touch anything in a rich person’s house.
Like a warrior who hears one twig snap and is already halfway through a backflip.
They flowed like melting ice, adapted like uncarved wood, held space like a valley,
and saw clearly, because their mental swamp wasn’t stirred up every five seconds.
And here’s the challenge:
Can you chill long enough for the mud to settle?
Can you not move until the move actually makes itself?
No forcing.
No refreshing the timeline for signs.
Just... stillness.
Until clarity emerges on its own like, “Ding. Fries are Done”
The Sage doesn’t chase fulfillment like it’s a DoorDash order.
No seeking. No grasping.
And because of that? She’s fully here.
Ready for anything.
Not surprised by everything.
TL;DR: Be Mindful. Be Patient. Just Be.
Stillness brings the answer if you would just shut up.
